Thank you

When my son was 1 year old, of course we told him thank you for the obvious things. Thank you for bringing me something. Thank you for giving me something. Thank you for using kind gestures. Then my husband and I got a Daniel Tiger song stuck in our head. "Thank you for everything you do." It was a funny habit to sing this one line when we said thank you to our son.

In that same year, I began thanking him for things to acknowledge good behavior. He quickly caught on. I would thank him for holding my hand while we walked in a parking lot. I would thank him for being a good boy after church, at a store or a restaurant. I kept it simple back then. At age 2, I began to elaborate. If the situation was appropriate, I would thank him for his specific actions and tell him I was proud of him.

By age 3, he beams when my husband and I thank him for his specific behavior. It's such a wonderful way to build self esteem. He remembers how much we appreciate his behavior and continues that behavior when back in the same situation...most of the time. :) I also tend to thank and praise his cousins or friends for playing well together when our playtime is over. I recently sat he and his girl cousin on the last step of her stairs when it was time for us to leave her home. I squatted down and thanked them for playing so well together and how proud I was of them. The 2 beaming faces smiling at me were so precious. They genuinely appreciated my words and acknowledgement.

He will sometimes say excuse me, excuse me, mommy, mommy, mommy, when I'm speaking to someone. He knows it's not appropriate. He knows to say excuse me, but wants me to acknowledge him right when he says it. We're working on that. We haven't tried the placing of his hand on mine (so I know he wants to tell me something), while I'm speaking to someone. I chose to teach him to say excuse me. When we were at lunch yesterday with friends, he knew when to interject in conversation, didn't obnoxiously say excuse me, and was such an angel. Before we got in the car to leave, I squatted down and placed his face in my hands. I looked him in the eyes and told him, "Thank you for being such a good boy. I am so proud of you and the way you behaved at lunch." He was glowing, and said, "Thank you, Mommy!"